Activist Monkey

Why 12 Steps Make Me Cranky

2007-03-15T19:30:00.000-07:00

There was an article today on cnn.com about a man who was sentenced to 18 months imprisonment today for a rape he committed in 1984. The rape occurred in Virginia which has no statute of limitations on felony prosecutions. The main piece of evidence against him? His letter he wrote in 2005 confessing/apologizing to the victim as step 9 of his alcohol treatment program. Apparently he wrote her a letter, which led to an email exchange in which he stated "I want to make clear that I'm not intentionally minimizing the fact of having raped you. I did." Step 9 involves making amends to those you have harmed, although not when doing so would cause further harm. And that, I guess is the rub, I am not sure as a group I think people recovering from an addiction are in a particularly good place to make that determination. This guy is a great example. He apparently thought that making contact out of nowhere with the woman he raped over twenty years ago would not be harmful to her. According to the article she has since forgiven him (although she did support the prosecution). But forgiving him and wanting the contact in the first place are not the same thing. I am glad that he is taking accountability for his actions and that from the account he has gone on to help others, but I guess I agree with the prosecutor that the letter was a selfish act, this was about his own need for absolution not about her or her feelings or needs. I am not sure what the right answer is for a rapist who sincerely wants to make amends but I don't think unsolicited contact with the person they victimized is the answer.

Confession, part gizillion and two

2007-03-14T13:46:00.000-07:00

In case my Obama Myspace confession wasn't enough to solidly cement my case for nerd of the year. I just took over the management of a Minnesota Fantasy Legislature Team - The Royal Flush. A team just barely out of last place, and recently the subject of an unflattering comparison to the T-Wolves. So my goal is to stay out of last place - ambitious I know. The system based on the various fantasy sports leagues allows managers to "draft" 6 legislators, at least 2 in each party and assigns points for bills filed, heard in committee, passed, etc. Nerd Factor? Incredibly High!!! Although I think the fact that I have been following the commissioner's blog incessantly without a team might be even worse ;)

I have been following a lot of the public safety and social policy bills but I totally ignore all the other committees. So my plan is to use this league as a tool to learn more about the boring stuff and the legislators who love it.

Any draft suggestions?

Clown Appeal

2007-03-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

I was walking to lunch today through the downtown Minneapolis skyway and passed a man dressed as a clown making balloon animals in front of Beyond Juice. There are no children in the skyway. He was hired as a marketing gimick to appeal to adults. All the adults I know think clowns are at best creapy if not terrifying. Who thought that was a good idea?

My Visual DNA

2007-02-23T10:41:00.000-08:00

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

Good in Theory...Dangerous in Practice

2007-02-11T15:15:00.000-08:00

In Washington State, the state's supreme court in Andersen v. King County (July 2006) found a “legitimate state interest” allowing the Legislature to limit marriage to those couples able to have and raise children together. Because of this “legitimate state interest,” the court found that it is permissible to bar same-sex couples from legal marriage. In response, the Washington Defense of Marriage Alliance is sponsoring a ballot initiative to hold the Legislature to its word by making procreation required in marriage, prohibit divorce/separation when there are children, and make the act of having a child together the legal equivalent of a marriage ceremony.

Here is the text of Initiative 957

If passed by Washington voters, the Defense of Marriage Initiative would:

* add the phrase, “who are capable of having children with one another” to the legal definition of marriage;
* require that couples married in Washington file proof of procreation within three years of the date of marriage or have their marriage automatically annulled;
* require that couples married out of state file proof of procreation within three years of the date of marriage or have their marriage classed as “unrecognized;”
* establish a process for filing proof of procreation; and
* make it a criminal act for people in an unrecognized marriage to receive marriage benefits.

In explanation, The Alliance offers the following:
Absurd? Very. But there is a rational basis for this absurdity. By floating the initiatives, we hope to prompt discussion about the many misguided assumptions which make up the Andersen ruling. By getting the initiatives passed, we hope the Supreme Court will strike them down as unconstitutional and thus weaken Andersen itself. And at the very least, it should be good fun to see the social conservatives who have long screamed that marriage exists for the sole purpose of procreation be forced to choke on their own rhetoric.

I get where they are coming from and I sympathize (both with the cause and the slightly sarcastic tone to the campaign) but I am not sure that this is effective or just alienating. I definitely wouldn't expect this tactic to sway diehard homophobes (and I doubt they do either). Maybe it will prompt social conservatives and moderates who are on the fence about gay marriage to think about what these DOMA laws are really saying and how ridiculous the arguments are, but I think it is just as likely if not more likely that the conservative groups will be able to spin this as just more evidence of the gays attacking marriage and destroying our way of life.

I think I don't have enough faith in the level of public discourse in our society for us to have this conversation in a way that this initiative would be effective, maybe I am cynical but it seems all Fox News and Bumperstickers and i don't think irony plays well there. I guess (can you tell I am thinking this through as I write) this initiative is in the vein of The Colbert Report but again I think that show is funny for liberals but doesn't do much to shift conservative sentiment.

What do you think? Is the a good idea, bad idea, irrelevant?

-A. Monkey

Hmmm...Better than a lot of other options

2007-02-11T15:00:00.000-08:00

You Are Most Like John F. Kennedy

You live a fairy tale life that most people envy.
And while you may have a few dark secrets, few people know them.

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Ohhh yeah bring on the envy!!!

-A. Monkey

TRIVIA WEEKEND!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-02-09T15:11:00.001-08:00

It's trivia weekend - 50 hours of nerdy nerdy fun. Be prepared for late night random calls!!!

-A. Monkey

Shrub talks to/at the DNC Winter Meeting

2007-02-03T07:30:00.000-08:00

Bush is on TV right now giving an address to the DNC Winter Meeting. He was invited and I guess he gets points for showing up. The tone is weird, he is clearly trying to walk a line between sticking to his policies/talking points while making conciliatory efforts towards the new majority party. It is awkward but he is getting some applause especially on healthcare for all and comprehensive immigration reform. The mention of no child left behind didn't win him any friends, though. Wow he just mentioned Darfur, apparently we are going to stay focused on it. It took him two-thirds of the way through the speech to even mention Iraq (interesting in part because CNN was displaying a split screen with the live speech and updates on a major bus bombing in Baghdad with a rising death toll, currently at 102 and 215 injured) The speech was a little wattered-down state of the uniony not much new but it is going to be followed by a private Q & A which might be more critical/interesting.

My favorite line was when he stuttered out something along the lines of I hope you don't believe that I think if you don't agree with me then you are not a patriot, I know people think that but it is just not true Seriously??? that has basically been the battle cry of the neocons since 9/11 - how many did he call the Democrats the party of cut and run this past election cycle alone? How many critics of the war have been compared to terrorists, been accused of hating america, freedom, etc.

-A. Monkey

I am a Nerd...Total, Total Nerd

2007-02-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

Not only did I ask Barack Obama to be my friend on myspace, I made him one of my top friends. NERD!!!! Seriously though I have totally drank the kool-aid, having read Dreams from My Father and Audacity of Hope over Christmas I am really excited about him. I am definitely more liberal than Obama but what totally won me over is that when he says things I don't agree I end up respecting him more...that never happens, seriously for the most part my knee jerk reaction tends to be: you disagree with me, well you're an idiot (one of my more quality attributes, I know). I think his ability to work with people on the issues without using strawmen or dehumanizing character attacks will serve to begin to mend the damage wrought by the US (both abroad and at home) in the past 6 years. I have no idea if he can win either in November or in the primaries but I do know that when and if I get my opportunity to vote for him, I will be doing just that - voting FOR him and not just against his competition which will be fan-frickin-tastic!

Today is the start of the DNC Winter Meeting and Barack got the chance along with Hillary, Dennis Kucinich, Chris Dodd and John Edwards to pitch his candidacy. Live news coverage got pre-empted by the Florida disaster coverage but from the clips he and John Edwards both sounded great! Hmmm, maybe John will be my friend too, just not one of my top friends ;)

-A. Monkey

as soon as I posted this I heard Tucker Carlson talk about how Rigoberta Menchu was a total fraud and undeserving of her Nobel Peace Prize unlike, wait for it... Rush Limbaugh. My immediate response was this guy oughta be shot - see my tendencies to evil knee jerk reactions. And just to be clear - NO ONE SHOULD SHOOT TUCKER CARLSON - we should just all agree he is a pompous ass ;)

Sooooo.... What to Do With this Blog???

2007-02-02T15:08:00.000-08:00

I initially started writing this blog in an attempt to stay in touch with family and friends while traveling and also to have some kind of record of this crazy journey into saving the world. Lately it seems though that as saving the world has evolved into saving the world one meeting at a time - which is still important and satisfying but doesn't lend easily to blogging. Sooo do I let the blog stay in Eric's Moribund Blog category, do I start writing about my exciting travels from St. Paul to Minneapolis to (wait for it....) St. Paul, or do I do something different with it? (this is a rhetorical question, I am not sure I want to see how many people would vote for activist monkey going quietly into the dying of the light, probably signaled mostly by a deafening silence). I read blogs, a lot, too much, seriously I would have to work at home waaaay less if blogs didn't exist. The ones I read are primarily feminist or political or both and this is what I am probably the most likely to write about (I thought about a blog about motherhood but all I have is a plant and seriously if I exposed my plant cruelty and neglect to the WWW the botany police would be at my door before long). The problem is that there are a million zillion blogs by smart dedicated bloggers so I am not sure if there is a missing voice or if there is, that it is mine... but I guess the reality is that I love this stuff and I am reading about it and talking about it all the damn time anyway so why not. Besides, one positive side of being home more is being able to get more involved in what is going on here both through politics and through my community and with the '08 elections already totally exciting both nationally and specifically here in Minnesota so welcome to the home for my ramblings!

-A. Monkey

Christmas Eve Politics Junky Style

2006-11-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

So for the first time since I have been able to vote the trends are looking good for my candidates and am I home to bask in the quasi-liberal or at least anti-neo-con glory? No I am half a world away in Central Asia in one of the few countries left on Earth that is pro-Bush, well to be fair the President is pro-Bush, the people I have spoken to seem much brighter than that. Anyway, I would have been more than happy to miss the '04 elections but this one I was really looking forward to. Before you get any silly notions - I did of course vote before I left - but still to be there... Ok enough bitching about poor silly monkey who has to travel to amazing places and meet amazing people anyway I know you aren't feeling bad for me so why bother;)

There is a 10 hour time difference between Tbilisi and Minneapolis. So as we were finishing our meetings for the day and heading to dinner on tuesday, eager beavers were streaming into the polls all over Minnesota and across the country. Falling asleep was hard. It really felt a little like christmas eve - what would santa politics bring? would the grinch steal the election? would I get a Canon Rebel Digital? (oh wait that really would be xmas) anyway it was hard to sleep. I knew that at six am my time the polls would close and that as we were waking up the presents under the tree would begin to appear. The first package: Senator Amy Klobuchar. The next package: my state rep and senator relected. Then some gifts from out of town relatives: Senator Hillary Clinton, Gov Eliot Spitzer, Republicans fall in Rhode Island (although I do feel bad for Lincoln Chaffee), Ohio, etc. One hell of a loot! Early indications on the secretary of state website looked good for all the DFL statewide candidates, news reported Hatch having leads in the early exit polls. We begin to go into present coma - it is 8:30am here, 10:30PM in Minneapolis and everything is falling into place. We break for breakfast - no scrambled eggs and schtolla (sp?) but still good.

Back to the web tearing from CNN, to NYTimes, to the Trib, to the secretary of state's site we obsessively watch every development hoping more and more races will be declared before it is time to leave for the first interview. As we leave for the day Hatch has dropped behind but we are still hopeful, Patty - well we are hopeful but not optimistic, but Tim Walz is looking strong and the national picture is coming into beautiful, beautiful democrat focus.

Coming home at the end of the day (Wednesday morning in Minnesota) and seeing Hatch and Finney had conceeded their respective races and the 6th district called for Bachmann was a little sad but hell we took back the Senate and the House on both the state and federal level - and Rumsfeld is gone - so we are trying to look at it like getting everything but the pony you always ask for and never get - besides like a pony, Hatch may have been better in theory than in practice although I'd take him in a heartbeat over Pawlenty. Besides now since I didn't get the pony maybe Santa will bring the Canon Rebel Digital Camera...what...oh um nevermind...

-A. Monkey

Georgian Food, Georgian Wine, Georgian Bellyache

2006-11-05T10:48:00.001-08:00

We have amazing friends here in Georgia. They came to Minnesota two years ago to learn about our laws and systems on domestic violence and everytime we are here we get together for these wonderful dinners, actually dinner is not an adequate word, feasts. After our amazing court hearing experience we met our friends, ok first we did a little shopping, but then we met our friends and drove out to the old capital which is about twenty miles out of Tbilisi.

This is a beautiful place with a 5th century church on the top of a big hill overlooking the river valley. Last time I was here we went up there and in the church there was a group of men singing in the haunting beautiful melodic way that will stay with me forever. There is also a 10th or 11th century church which is said to hold the robes Jesus was buried in and people come to this church to be healed by the power of this cloth.

This time, coming in the evening, we saw both churches all lit up casting beautiful reflections onto the river. We didn't have time to go exploring however and went straight to the restaurant. We ate at a restaurant along the river that has separate rooms for each table so it is like a private party. there is a buzzer/light switch by the door to summon the wait staff. We were greeted by all the traditional georgian dishes. Georgian food is like a mixture between Greek, russian and indian (hard to really picture that, I know) The do a lot with walnuts and pommagranites and these amazing salty cheeses. Everything is really rich and delicious and plentiful - beyond plentiful!!! There were about 20, ok well 6, courses and by the time the fruit comes signaling the end of the meal you breathe a small sigh of relief (small because you are too full to sigh deeply). With the food there is amazing wine, Georgia is well known for its wine, a reputation that is well deserved. It is traditional for there to be lots of toasts, a man typically takes on the role as the toast master and as we were a group of 10 with only one man, Koba stepped up admirably. At one point a wooden bowl of wine is passed around and the toast is to the friendship of all at the table and everyone drinks and the last person is expected to finish the wine. Are you getting the picture of a lot of wine, it was a lot of wine!!

Toward the end of the meal a singer/organ grinder came into the room and played and sang for us. He then had Boss play the grinder while he sang. Then I took a turn, he put his cap on my head and one of my travel mates got up to dance. It was a beautiful night and we really should have walked home to work off some of that dinner - our poor stomaches, I am not sure if they have forgiven us yet;)

-A. Monkey

Georgia Makes History

2006-11-05T10:48:00.000-08:00

Living in Minnesota and working on violence against women, I oscillate between being mainly incredibly grateful about the long and rich tradition that has come before me and the work that amazing trail blazers fought through to bring us to where we are today and being a tad envious or maybe wistful about what those early days must have been like. As many young feminist activists will tell you as amazingly grateful and full of admiration as we are of the pioneers in our field it does sometimes get discouraging to constantly be told oh you think that is bad you should have been around when... I am lucky to mainly work with and around women who are very supportive of my generation, but in some sense there is a feeling that the exciting action is over. The movement has important battles yet to be fought but we are never going back to having shelters in our houses or meetings without any funding or any belief that we will be taken seriously (which is a good thing). I am glad, beyond glad, that we have some of the best laws in the world on domestic violence in Minnesota. Minnesota's history as a pioneer on this issue is something to be proud of but there is something about being in from the ground floor.

Well, today we had an amazing ground floor moment here in Georgia! Georgia passed a domestic violence law in July of this year. It is modeled loosely on our law and on the Austrian model. It creates an order for protection remedy for victims of domestic violence. Our law, the second in the country, was passed in 1979 (the year I was born). Despite its passage several months ago, what we were told when we arrived is that no one is using it, there have been no orders, etc. WELL, on Sunday we attended the court hearing for the very first protective order in Georgia. The protection sought was just an order to not engage in further physical or verbal abuse. There was no request of no contact and the petitioner and respondent didn't live together so occupancy was not an issue. The case was actually between an adult daughter and her father. She alleged physical and verbal abuse. The father admitted one incident of physical abuse but denied a pattern. Under the law, one incident is enough and the judge could have ended the matter there with that admission but she let the hearing continue. The hearing lasted for well over an hour. The judge took a brief recess and then granted the order. On the whole the judge did a good job, especially for the first time! There were somethings I wish had been handled differently for example there was an underlying property dispute between the two and although she did tell the father to take it to civil court if he had a problem and not use violence she still allowed a great deal of the time and the focus of the hearing to be on the property and not on the central issues of the violence and the woman's safety. After the hearing we learned that two more cases were scheduled for later in the week and we have heard of more being filed. Ahh, the ground floor!

-A. Monkey

Globe Trotting: All Grown Up

2006-11-02T10:17:00.000-08:00

So this is my second visit to Georgia and I think the 7th country visit I have made since joining the Activists and each trip is a little different and a little more involved. Because of our philosophy of only going into a country on invitation we have had wonderful hosts in each country who handle a lot of the logistics of our work. In Tajikistan that meant two cars with drivers and two interpreters available to us basically 24/7. In Bulgaria, our host accompanied us and got us everywhere be it by taxi, bus, or foot unharmed and on time. Here we do have an interpreter who meets us at the interviews where she is required but as far as getting there we are left to our own devices. Now normally this wouldn't be a problem - you get a taxi, you haggle, you get in, you get there. But apparently the driving rules in Tbilisi were changed recently as were many street names so the cab drivers don't really know where things are. The streeets are narrow and windy and some are one way so even when you are going the right way you feel as though you are driving in circles. That coupled with the fact that we have the names written out in our alphabet, not in Georgian, so many of the drivers can't read the addresses all that well and our pronounciation leaves something to be desired. We took a cab from the hotel to our in country partner's office and an hour later we arrived. She meanwhile was frantically calling the hotel, the UN, etc. trying to track down her silly lost activists. Not a workable system!

Solution: we have hired a driver for the trip and he is in contact with our partner and with our interpreter and with us so that he can get us where we need to be and when. We have also had the addresses written in both english and georgian so when in a pinch or on the weekend when we do need a cab we can at least give the driver a clear idea of where he is going. Levan is our hero for the trip! He is very nice and understands a lot of english and speaks a little (probably more than he lets on) he is a musician and his english comes from his study of music.

Despite our logistics hiccup we are really enjoying this adventure and it is wonderful to be back in Tbilisi. As Mary keeps saying with some restoration it really could be the next Prague. So that is going to be our recommendation to the UN and anyone else who'll listen: Ministry of Tourism. Well ok, fix domestic violence and child abuse first but then tourism!!! ;)

-A. Monkey

So you mean this isn't Atlanta?

2006-11-02T09:55:00.000-08:00

We made it safe and sound to Tbilisi. We got in last night (minus Boss's luggage that they assure us will arrive on Saturday). The trip was relatively unremarkable. I think that after Tajikistan it all seems pretty high tech and first world. I do think that the gods (or possible the minneapolis gate agents) have an amusing sense of humor in that I was seated in the back of the plane with about nine million, ok seriously at least eight, children under the age of five. Collectively these children cried, screamed and yelled for the entire duration of the flight from Minneapolis to Amsterdam. My slightly ambitious reading list...so didn't happen. Luckily the in-flight movie choices were well stocked in the all important cheesy I would never rent this but I want to see it department.

Our hotel is in the old part of the city which means narrow winding cobbled roads, pastel painted plaster buildings side by side with turretted stone walls. It is lovely and enchanting. We stumbled upon a great restaurant we had been to the last time we were here. The atrium/deck area we were seated in provides a stunning view along the river and actually juts out over it. It feels quite solid but looks completely terrifying from the outside.

Stuffed with walnuts, eggplant and Khatchipuri we found our way back to our hotel and into bed.

-A. Monkey

Not to be Judgmental But...

2006-08-01T13:35:00.000-07:00

...this dude must be crazy!!!

And by this dude I mean Dean Karnazes. He is attempting to complete Endurance 50: 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days. The kick off is September 17th. In training he has done 10 marathons and several 100(+) mile "ultra" marathons. He has a blog where I assume he will be documenting the journey. The idea is that local runners will join him in each city. 8 of the marathons will be regularly scheduled ones and 42 will be recreations of the normal marathon - same route, same distance, different day. He is running the twin cities marathon course in Minneapolis on Monday, October 23rd at 7am to find out when and where he will be running in another state (you can also sign up to run with him) click here.

Ok yeah seriously I am trying to like running and eventually I want to run a marathon (one marathon - not 50) but good lord that sounds god awful. Right now I still feel bad ass when I do a 5K or the 10K that almost killed me ;)

Good luck to him

-A. Monkey

"Life Lessons"

2006-07-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

TLC has what I thought were spoof commercials for "life lesson" figurines with helpful advice such as: "Dating is awkward but so is becoming a crazy cat lady;" "When the baby needs changing, remember rock beats scissors," and "Never introduce her as 'My future Ex.'" I totally thought they were making fun of the whole motivational poster, jesus as sports figurine aspect of our culture and maybe they are but the things are actually for sale. You can actually buy a figurine with the reminder that "when you go for the extra large soda, bring your extra large bladder"

Now I don't know what to think - but I do have a strange urge to get the rock beats scissors one for my sister and brother-in-law

-A. Monkey

What Happens when Monkeys are too Busy to Post Properly:

2006-06-12T14:52:00.000-07:00

Quiz time:

You scored 48% Gryffindor, 44% Ravenclaw, 8% Hufflepuff, and 0% Slytherin!

Difficult. Difficult. Plenty of courage. Not a bad set of brains. A good heart. And the determination to prove yourself. But where to put you? BETTER BE Gryffindor!

The Hogwarts Sorting Hat Test written by itui

You are Mad Madame Mim
48% evil #1, 45% evil #2, 38% evil #3, 0% evil #4

Movie: The Sword In The Stone Madame Mim's role as a villainess was only a brief one in the movie, yet no one who saw the film can forget that hilarious duel between her and the powerful wizard Merlin. Mim is a kooky witch and somewhat of a hermit. And in her words: "I HATE sunshine!!!"

The Disney Villain/Villainess Test written by mysticist

You are the Wit
(57% dark, 34% spontaneous, 21% vulgar)

your humor style:
CLEAN COMPLEX DARK

You like things edgy, subtle, and smart. I guess that means you're probably an intellectual, but don't take that to mean pretentious. You realize 'dumb' can be witty--after all isn't that the Simpsons' philosophy?--but rudeness for its own sake, 'gross-out' humor and most other things found in a fraternity leave you totally flat.

I guess you just have a more cerebral approach than most. You have the perfect mindset for a joke writer or staff writer.

Your sense of humor takes the most thought to appreciate, but it's also the best, in my opinion.

You probably loved the Office. If you don't know what I'm talking about, check it out here: http://www.bbc.co.uk/comedy/theoffice/.

PEOPLE LIKE YOU: Jon Stewart - Woody Allen - Ricky Gervais

-A. Monkey

2006-06-07T06:49:00.000-07:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(78% permissive)

and an...
Economic Liberal
(15% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Socialist

Take the Politics Test

A sign

2006-05-24T05:41:00.000-07:00

Today is a national slavic culture holiday in Bulgaria so we have the day off from trainings. The rest of the group after a morning of working went off to explore the city. I explored the city on Saturday and also last July so I decided to stay behind and write. As I was sitting in my hotel room grappling with writer's block I began debating whether or not I should take a break and shower. In the middle of this *fascinating* internal exchange a knock on the door interrupted me. It was the housekeeper, she looked at me quizzically and said "need cleaning?" I know she was refering to my room and but I am still taking it as a sign and jumping in the shower.

-A. Monkey

Judge Hermione Granger?

2006-05-22T12:09:00.000-07:00

Ok, ready for my fantastically brilliant legal observation on the Bulgarian judicial system: In Bulgaria, like many civil law countries, judge is a separate legal track from attorney or solicitor. It is not like the States where after a long history/experience as an attorney one may ascend to the bench. Many of the judges are young, really young, like mid twenties young. This is not a recent revelation. When I was here last summer I met several judges of various ages and this system was explained to us. This trip, however, I watched my first Bulgarian court hearing. The hearing was presided over by Hermione Granger, I swear. The judge was not any older that me. She had long untamed hair - think Hermione in the first HP movie and large glasses that made her look super young and bookish. The Bulgarian judicial robes just added to it though. They are a soft black material with a wide (peter pan?) collar that is rimmed in black satin. It looks like a wizard's robe. What if any magical powers she has were not apparent during the hearing though as she was unable to wave a wand and get rid of the service/notice problems that stopped the hearing before it really got started. Being a good monkey ;) I did actually pay attention to the substance of this hearing and the next one we watched but I definitely did it with Hogwarts on the brain.

-A. Monkey

The Joys of Jinxing One's Self

2006-05-17T22:54:00.000-07:00

So we flew out Tuesday evening, destination: Sofia, Bulgaria. With a connection through London, this looked like a pretty easy jaunt. But, because I am a complete and utter moron, looking at the itinerary as we waited to board I comment, offhand really, wow that connection is a little tight.

We were scheduled to land Wednesday morning at Gatwick at 9 and our flight to Sofia departed at 10:30. 90 minutes - definitely doable but tight, especially when you are flying Northwest (note to self - these are comments to make once you are comfortably in Sofia - not in the waiting lounge at MSP). It really all started ok. They began boarding promptly and were keeping people moving pretty quickly. We got settled in our seats and began chatting. After awhile we noticed that we had been sitting there for kindof a long time and just as we started looking at our watches - the captain came on and announced that two passengers who were connecting from a flight from Toronto had not gotten on the plane. He joked that they might have decided that they preferred a trip to the megamall over an 8hr plane ride. The delay of course was their bags. They were already on the plane and of course they were way in the back so they had to unload and reload all the bags to take off the shoppers' bags. So 45 minutes late but at least it was not a weather or mechanical issue and besides the pilot thought we could make up some of the lost time over Greenland.

Fast forward 8ish hours later. We are sooooo not on the ground. Fog around Gatwick had forced us to circle and circle until there was not enough fuel to continue. By that time the fog had lifted but we were too low priority to get a spot on the backed up landing strips. Instead we were forced to land at Manchester and refuel before heading back to Gatwick. By this time it is late, like 10, 10:30, no way we are making that flight. Unless all the flights are delayed... I mean if you can't see to land, you can't see to takeoff and how much priority are they really going to give an Air Bulgaria flight anyway. So we were still holding on to some hope. hope that is until after the 45 minutes or so it took to refuel someone two rows back had a medical emergency requiring first assistance from the crew and a nurse who happened to be on board but then finally medics came on and removed him. Another hour or so. We then got back in the air and quickly landed at Gatwick, around 1 or so. This is about when we were scheduled to land...In Sofia.

The crew announced that anyone traveling on to Bulgaria should see the staff just off the plane. At first we were encouraged after all why would they single us out unless there was some hope to catch the flight. We didn't actually see any staff just off the plane so we headed over to the connecting flights. There we were told that we had missed the flight and were being rebooked on the flight for tomorrow. This would get us in to Sofia around 4 on Thursday. The reason we came this week ahead of the rest of the group was to observe court on Thursday so this was a problem. We asked the woman if there were any other routes and she sent us to the northwest counter- about a million miles away. (Did I mention Gatwick is huge and I am traveling with a 76 year old) we went through immigration but were told to leave our baggage for now as it was checked through to Sofia.

When we finally found the northwest counter we were first told that there was nothing they could do. Then she found a flight through Athens which arrived at 8am, but it meant getting to Heathrow - quickly. She sent us back, with a staff member, to baggage claim to find our bags in a rush. We were re-searched including swiping down everything in our hand luggage. We finally got to our bags and then headed back. By the time we made it back to the counter we should have been on the train for Heathrow. The attendant had found a new plan though. She decided to route us through Budapest on a Hungarian airline, Malev. This would get us to Sofia at around 2am. She was unable to book it on her computer though so she had to call Malev. She was on the line with them for 40 minutes easily - mostly on hold, during which time she amused us endlessly in that classic British way by rolling her eyes, banging her head on the desk, and telling us she was losing the will to live. She had to explain how to do the transfer repeatedly to the badly trained chimpanzee I assume she was talking to. She said it sounded like she was on a mobile with someone in their sitting room somewhere. After roughly 200 years we got our tickets and headed to the airport pub before finally leaving England.

The rest of the trip went swimmingly and by 3am we were in the hotel and getting ready for our next adventure. Next time though - no mentioning tight connections, it's like saying Macbeth in a theatre.

-A. Monkey

Tajik Funeral Scam

2006-04-18T23:45:00.000-07:00

So last night being the very brave monkeys we are, we returned to Dushanbe from a day of interviewing in the south, found our internet cafe to try (mostly unsuccessfully) to email home and then decided to skip the expat, menu in english, restaurants we are used to and we went to a small cafe on a side street for traditional Tajik food. We had no idea what was on the menu, actually we didn't even bother opening it. The waitress just said a few words that we couldn't understand and we nodded and were brought food. It was really good. The traditional salad of pickled vegetables, with Tajik bread and what I am pretty sure was chicken. After our successful venture we headed back to the apartment, impressed with our worldliness. Just as we were going to bed someone started knocking on the door. I went to answer it and there was an older worn looking woman with blackened peg teeth standing there. She told us in broken english that she was a neighbor and that another neighbor of ours, an old lady with no family, had died and that there was no one to bury her so the neighbors were all pitching in to cover the costs and could we contribute? We were a tad wary but unsure of the customs we said yes and my companion went to get some semoni. As she was grabbing her wallet, the woman pulled out a book. It looked like a photo album and I thought at first she was going to show us pictures of the dead lady. But it was a nature picture book that I think she wanted to sell us - now that she had marked us as suckers with money. I am not sure if she was hocking the old lady's things or if there was no old lady and it was a total scam but either way I am pretty sure our modest contribution will never make it to any funeral. I am also willing to bet that we haven't seen the last of our 'neighbor.' Oh well, so much for our worldliness ;)

-A. Monkey

Jet Lag and Toilets

2006-04-18T07:55:00.000-07:00

OK so the first night in Dushanbe I was so exhausted that, though not sleeping the whole time, I managed to stay in bed for like twelve hours. The next night however jet lag took over and from about 2 or 3 on sleep was impossible. What woke me up was random street noises and the sound of our toilet running. I tried to ignore them. I thought eventually it would all stop but no. So finally I got up and decided to stumble bleerily into the bathroom and fix the toilet. Jiggling the handle wasn't really an option as it has one of those top push buttons. I tried pushing that part way several times but that didn't help. so I took the lid off to look inside. Good idea in theory right? Well with the handle on the top instead of the side taking off the lid is a tad treacherous. the metal button thing fell off and I didn't see where it went. I managed to get the toilet to stop runnning but then was looking all over for the button and not finding it. I came to the disheartening conclusion that it must have fallen in the toilet. I took the brush to see if I could get it out but no. I realized that if I had infact lost the cap into the toilet that it would jam it and I would have to call our very nice but rather reserved Tajik male office administrator to discuss the toilet - not a conversation I was relishing. I briefly toyed with the idea that maybe no one would notice that you could no longer flush the toilet but... well even stupid from jet lag I knew that wasn't likely. Just as I was headed, defeated, back to bed to wait for a decent hour to call Iskandor I saw something shiny under the door - the button! YAY no embarassing call.

Of course half a day later the water to the toilet appears to have stopped working (completely unrelated but still frustrating) so a Toilet Conversation is appearently still in our rather uncomfortable future

-A. Monkey

Back in the USSR (well sort of)

2006-04-16T23:24:00.000-07:00

So we made it, completely uneventfully, back to Dushanbe. The flight from Munich was pretty empty so we each had our own row of seats to stretch out in. The seats and the seatbelts were still barely functional but I was tired enough to ignore everything and just sleep. After my marathon session waiting for luggage last time, I packed lightly enough not to check a bag, my traveling companion checked one though but this time there was no wait. We got to our new apartment a little after midnight and collapsed into beds.

When we got up on Sunday we met a friend who lives here for lunch and then went to the botanical gardens for a walk. I am not sure exactly what I was expecting from the botanical gardens. I didn't exactly expect what one sees in the US - a variety of plants ranging from the mundane to the exotic all carefully labeled with factoids about their care or climate - but it was basically an overgrown wilderness/wooded area. It was about 80 and sunny with a light breeze so it was a beautiful place for a walk but I think one of us would have had to be a bontanist to really get anything out of the assortment of plant life.

After our walk we headed back to the apartment to review notes and prepare for our week of interviews and then out to dinner at the Armenian restaurant which is considered the best restaurant in Dushanbe and is quite good. We asked our companions for the name of the restaurant which was something like Cafe Bar - creative I know ;) There is a trend here of stating the obvious when naming things, for example since the last time we were here the first book store in Dushanbe has opened - its name "Book."

-A. Monkey

Random THoughts from Munich

2006-04-14T23:58:00.000-07:00

Heading back to Tajikistan, we are in the middle of a six hour layover in Munich. I am super tired so I appologize ahead of time if this is rambling incoherency but thought I´d share what is rattling around in my sleepy brain. First I am in an internet kiosk at the airport and am using a german or european keyboard which is basically the same as a US one except for some inexplicable reason the position of the Z and the Y are reversed as are the ´and the #. Not a big deal but it is tripping me up :) Also watching the Producers on the flight over might not have been the best idea as I am now in Germany with the song Springtime for Hitler in my head - seriously my brain is having a total Fawlty Towers moment. Anyway so far the travel has all been very smooth and we are really excited to be headed back to Dushanbe even if the 6 hour flight on Tajik Air is a bit daunting. OK I´VE NOW MANAGED TO TURN ON THE CAPSLOCK AND CAN´T FIGURE OUT HOW TO TURN IT OFF - CLEARLZ A SIGN TO STOP WRITING :)

-A. Monkey

2006-03-21T12:34:00.000-08:00

NATIONAL CALL-IN WEEK
FOR COMPREHENSIVE IMMIGRATION REFORM
Mon, March 20 – Fri, March 24

Why Now?

The U.S. Senate Judiciary Committee will likely decide on immigration reform measures on March 27th, 2006. If you care about immigration issues, NOW is the time to act.

What To Do:

CALL OR FAX the following four U.S. Senators with this message:

I support balanced, comprehensive immigration reform that:
* provides protection to refugees and asylum seekers fleeing persecution;
* supports family reunification; and
* provides a path to citizenship with reasonable requirements.

1) Sen. Mark Dayton, Minnesota Senator (or your Senior State Senator)
PHONE: 612-727-5220 or 888-224-9043
FAX: 612-727-5223

2) Sen. Norm Coleman, Minnesota Senator (or your Junior State Senator)
PHONE: 651-645-0323 or 800-642-6041
FAX: 651-645-3110

3) Sen. Arlen Specter, Chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee
PHONE: 202-224-4254
FAX: 215-597-0406

4) Sen. Bill Frist, Senate Majority Leader
PHONE: 202-224-3344
FAX: 202-228-1264

In addition to the above message, please urge Senator Frist to allow the Senate Judiciary Committee to continue with their process and urge him NOT to bring his own border security bill to the floor if the Judiciary Committee does not meet his arbitrary deadline.

International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination

2006-03-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

"None of us is born to hate. Intolerance is taught and can be untaught. We must not tolerate the creeping rot of routine discrimination," - United Nations Secretary-General Kofi Annan

Didya know it was the International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination? Did you even know there was one? I didn’t. Today is actually the 40th International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination. It was established by the UN in 1966, following the March 21, 1960 Sharpeville massacre of peaceful demonstrators protesting against apartheid laws in South Africa.

[A]pproximately 7,000 anti-apartheid demonstrators assembled to march to the Sharpeville police station in South Africa. They had gathered peacefully to protest a law that required all black Africans to carry a Passbook, which allowed the South African government to restrict and monitor their whereabouts. Any black South African found without a Passbook could be arrested and detained for up to 30 days! The black Africans who were part of the protest on March 21, 1960 were to leave their passbooks at home and present themselves at the police station for arrest.
A heavy contingent of police met the demonstrators when they reached the police station. Then the police opened fire. Within minutes, the police had killed 69 demonstrators, including 8 women and 10 children, and an additional 180 people were injured. More than 80% of the people killed were shot in the back as they tried to flee the police bullets. [more here]

So I’m wondering in the past forty years how far have we come. Impressions? A couple of years ago I think I would have said something like: Clearly overt racism is not accepted the way it was in the past. People on the whole seem to have enough sense or at least sense of shame not to be blatant about their racism even if they don’t have enough shame to try to overcome it. But systemic racial discrimination is still a major problem and possibly one that is in some ways harder to combat because of its facially neutral appearance. And I think this is still true in a lot of ways. I can’t imagine walking into a restaurant with a black friend and not being seated or worrying about him being lynched. But I am not sure I can say the same thing about dining with a middle eastern friend. It seems like it is open season on Muslims, and immigrants in general. All that ugly hate and rage and fear is surface level in our politicians, our sunday news shows, our community.

I don’t know how far we really have come or even if we are still moving forward at all…

- A. Monkey

Blog Against Sexism Day

2006-03-08T14:35:00.000-08:00

"Pregnant rape victims are essentially assaulted twice," said Kenneth Roth, executive director of Human Rights Watch. "First by the perpetrators who raped them, and then by officials who ignore them, insult them and deny them a legal abortion."

Ken Roth is referring to rape victims in Mexico although the way things seem to be headed, give it a year or two and it could just as easily be South Dakota, Tennessee or Alabama.

Human Rights Watch has just released a report, "The Second Assault: Obstructing Access to Legal Abortion after Rape in Mexico," documenting the obstacles faced by rape victims trying to get an abortion in Mexico. In Mexico, legal abortions are only available to rape victims and only to victims who have reported the assault. Due to shame, fear, trauma, humiliation and the rest of the multitude of other reasons rape victims do not report many women are being forced to carry to term the child of their rapist. As utterly abhorrent as that is, the report found that even when victims do come forward and report they are still effectively denied access to abortions through shaming, delays and outright refusals.

"Lidia Muñoz," a 25-year-old rape victim, was intimidated by medical personnel in a public hospital in Mexico City in 2005. An NGO representative who was present gave the following account:

When she got the authorization and went to the hospital to have the [abortion] done, the doctor in charge of her care said to her: ‘We are going to have many problems, because we are going to have to do a death certificate [for the aborted fetus]. You are going to have to bring a hearse, [and] to buy a coffin to take away the body, because we can’t have the body here.’
"Marta Espinosa," a 12-year-old pregnant rape victim in Yucatán was passed from one state agency to another when she tried to obtain a legal abortion. A social worker who physically accompanied her said:

It was a 12-year-old girl, she came from the rural part of the state.... The first doctor had seen her [when she was only] one month pregnant.... The next clinic at eight weeks.... When she came to Mérida [the capital of Yucatán], she was 12 weeks pregnant.... I went to social security, I went to [the public hospital]. I went to the offices of those in charge.... Everyone turned their back. They said: ‘It is not possible.’ I brought the article [of the state penal code] where it says that [abortion after rape] is within the provisions.... In the Family Services agency [where I worked] they wanted her to have the child by any means.... They said to me that she was many months pregnant now, and I said: ‘That’s because many months have gone by while you tell me no.’ (The authorities did not authorize a legal abortion.)

Read the report. I have been reading a lot lately about abortion and choice and the various legal maneuvering going on and I keep intending to write but losing the words. The abortion debate makes me sad and frustrated. Abortion makes me sad. I am pro-choice. I am strongly pro-choice. But I can’t get away from the fact that abortion makes me sad. I am pro-choice because we live in a world that is violent toward women. Rape, domestic violence, trafficking all play in when talking about abortion. Beyond pregnancies resulting out of violence or occurring within violent relationships, our societal framework, that encourages absenteeism amongst fathers, that shames women into carrying pregnancies to term and then shames them for needing assistance, that creates hurdles to access to contraceptives, that is no where near reaching gender equality, necessitates having abortion as a safe and legal option. I think that if we could get to a place where on a societal level we truly supported the children that are born, where men and women bore an equal share of the burden of raising children, where there was no rape or domestic violence, or sexual exploitation, where there was readily available contraceptives, where there was gender equality…then maybe we could start having the discussion about what place abortion has in our society. I don’t know if my position would change or not, but I am all for getting to the place where we could find out.

Today is International Women’s Day and it is also “blog against sexism day.” So here is my plea – let’s learn from Mexico instead of rushing to join them. Let’s table all the restrictive anti-abortion legislation and take all that energy and all that money and address the violence and the social inequalities that make abortion a necessary option first.

-A. Monkey

Calling all Minnesotans!

2006-03-07T12:22:00.000-08:00

The 2006 caucuses will be held at locations around the state TONIGHT, Tuesday, March 7 at 7:00pm. Precinct caucuses are public meetings conducted by each of Minnesota’s major political parties to choose candidates and decide the party’s platform of issues for the coming elections. These are important events in Minnesota’s political life because they are where issues that impact our communities are discussed and where citizens can influence their parties’ direction and the political process at large. All of Minnesota’s precinct caucuses are open to the public, and anyone can attend as an observer. You can participate in a party’s caucus if you will be eligible to vote on November 7 and if you support or are likely to support that party’s candidates. While you are there, how about introducing a resolution. Here are four that I plan on introducing at my caucus:

To find your caucus location and to see Minnesota Advocates sample resolutions on state and federal immigration issues click here.

To see Outfront's sample resolution to oppose the anti-marriage constitutional amendment click here.

For a sample resolution from MCBW on domestic violence and homelessness:
Resolution to End Homelessness for Victims of Domestic Violence

Whereas, an estimated 8,900 Minnesotans are homeless on any given night; and,

Whereas, one out of three families experiencing homelessness are victims of domestic violence; and,

Whereas, 1,000 people experiencing homelessness in Minnesota are turned away from homeless services on a given night; and,

Whereas, preventing homelessness is the most humane and cost-effective approach to addressing homelessness safety for victims; and,

Whereas, prevention strategies are the only way to finally end homelessness;

Be it resolved that the Legislature and Governor enact the policies and resources needed to provide immediate assistance and shelter to people experiencing homelessness; and,

Be it further resolved that the Legislature and Governor enact policies and resources that strengthen the social services system, ensure economic security, and provide stable housing to effectively prevent homelessness.

-A. Monkey

Where have you been?

2006-03-06T13:25:00.000-08:00

This will look so much cooler after I can add Russia (April, I think) :

create your own visited countries map

create your own visited states map

-A. Monkey

International Women's Day 2006

2006-02-27T10:45:00.000-08:00

Minnesota Advocates for Human Rights and
the Human Rights Program at the University of Minnesota

present

The 11th Annual International Women's Day Celebration

Education • Resources • Advocacy • Activism • Community • Networking • Celebration!

Saturday, March 4, 2006
8:00 a.m. - 4:30 p.m.
Coffman Memorial Union at the University of Minnesota
Free and Open to the Public
Keynote Speaker:

Naomi Tutu

Plenary Panel:

Susana de Leon, Peggy Flanagan,
Farheen Hakeem, Pakou Hang,
Nyango Melissa Nambangi

Panels and workshops, performances, film, and display and information tables from over 60 co-sponsoring organizations

If you will be in Minnesota on the 4th, this is set to be an amazing event. For those outside MN, there are celebrations around the world: to see a collection of worldwide IWD events, click

CAN YOU PICK THE KILLER?

2006-02-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

Killer or Computer Programmer? Can you tell the difference? Try it here. I got 7 out of 10 right.

-A. Monkey

I've Been Tagged...

2006-02-08T13:21:00.000-08:00

by the snarkiest of all Squabs

Four jobs I've had:
1. Selling Knives basically door to door – SOOOOO not meant to be a sales person.
2. Pizza – I’ve made it, served it, sold it, deliver it, and cleaned up after it, yet I still crave it
3. Waitress at a biker bar- beer in a can and food in a basket – that’s HIGH CLASS
4. Human Rights Lawyer – just the right job for a monkey

Four movies I can watch over and over:
1. Whole Nine Yards
2. Office Space
3. Harry Potter 3
4. A&E’s Pride and Prejudice

Four places I've lived:
1. Redlands, CA
2. Salzburg, Austria
3. London, UK
4. Ossining, NY

Four TV shows I love:
1. Grey's Anatomy
2. House
3. Monk
4. Law & Order

Four Places I've Vacationed:
1. Ireland
2. Athens, Greece
3. Rosarita, Mexico
4. Colorado

Four of my favorite dishes:
1. Holy Basil Supreme
2. Cookies and Diet Coke
3. Basically anything that comes with Naan
4. Spicy Tuna Hand-roll

Four sites I visit daily:
1. After School Snack
2. Shakespeare’s Sister
3. Bitch, PhD
4. Snarky Squab

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. Thailand
2. Bed (I’m a tired monkey)
3. Costa Rica (never been, heard it’s beautiful)
4. New Zealand

Four bloggers I am tagging:
1. Matt from Quiet Please
2. Dr B. from Bitch PhD
3. Shakespeare’s sister
4. Somewaterytart

-A. Monkey

Political Views Map

2006-02-03T12:53:00.000-08:00

SW- You would feel most at home in the Southwest region You advocate a large degree of personal freedom and a large degree of government control over the economy. Your neighbors include such folks as Jesse Jackson, Ralph Nader, Hillary Clinton, and Zack de la Rocha of Rage Against the Machine, and may refer to themselves as "liberals," "left-wing liberals," "civil libertarians," "democratic socialists," "egalitarians," or "anarcho-socialists."

-A. Monkey

Nothing Cures Crabbiness Like a Cute Monkey

2006-02-02T12:12:00.000-08:00

See, didn't that help. Thanks, Min!

-A. Monkey

RIP

2006-01-31T07:34:00.000-08:00

An activist and a hero and an important voice for nonviolence, she will be missed.

-A. Monkey

Coalition of the Homophobic

2006-01-30T12:51:00.000-08:00

The United States has joined an Iran-led coalition to deny United Nations consultative status to two NGOs working on LGBT issues without a hearing. Isn't is reassuring that despite our increasingly hostile relations over nuclear weapons, we can always find common ground in some good ole fashion persecution. The Brussels based International Lesbian and Gay Association and the Danish gay rights group Landsforeningen for BÃ¸sser og Lesbiske applied for consultative status with the UN Economic and Social Council in May of last year. Special consultative status allows NGOs to attend sessions, make statements, participate in policy debates, and propose items for consideration. There are over 2700 NGOs with this status. In 2002, the US had supported consultative status for the ILGA yet has not given any official reason for the change in position. In voting to deny status, the US joins Cameroon, China, Cuba, Iran, Pakistan, the Russian Federation, Senegal, Sudan, and Zimbabwe, or in other words amazing leaders in human rights. The LGBT community while facing severe discrimination in this country faces even more dire conditions in many of the countries who voted to deny status. Iranian law declares male homosexual conduct to be a capital offense. The president of Zimbabwe has blamed gay people for all of Africa's ills and has labeled them "people without rights." This atmosphere of hatred makes the purposefully keeping the voices of LGBT groups out of the official debate on standards and norms of international law/customs especially dangerous. Human Rights Watch has penned an open letter to Condoleeza Rice calling for an explanation. The US has a history of standing in pretty miserable company when it comes to our conservative social agenda and the UN. We stand alone with Somalia (which doesn't have a recognized government) when it comes to not having ratified the Children's Rights Convention or the Women's Convention. I know that we should be at a point where hate-based decisions no longer surprise me, but I just can't get there.

(For more)

-A. Monkey

Pretty Words

2006-01-30T12:17:00.000-08:00

(Check out After School Snack's one here and/or make your own here)

-A. Monkey

Book of Daniel Burned

2006-01-27T12:23:00.000-08:00

The Book of Daniel had all the promise of being a good show. A Six Feet Under for the networks, it was a dark comedic look at the family of an Episcopalian priest with a prescription drug problem who has private strolls with a pretty laid back Jesus. It was funny and somewhat irreverent look at a religious family without the saccharin-quality of 7th Heaven. The show touched on drug dealing, homosexuality, adoption, racism, and the mob and was only on for four episodes. Of course the religious right hated it. The protests started before it ever aired. Focus on the Family declared it “extremely repulsive” and pushed its base to harass networks and corporate sponsors into bagging the show. They were successful, several NBC affiliates refused to run it and the ratings suffered so NBC yanked it. Bastards. I get not watching something you find offensive but the arrogance behind this whole we have to save the world from the corruptive forces of anyone seeing gay people being welcomed into a church it is just ridiculous!

"This shows the average American that he doesn't have to simply sit back and take the trash being offered on TV, but he can get involved and fight back with his pocketbook."
- Donald E. Wildmon, founder of the Mississippi-based American Family Association

Because changing the channel is too difficult??? I’m sure they will replace it with something super high quality, like back to back Fear Factor. Hmmph.

-A. Monkey

(For more information)

Instant Karma

2006-01-27T08:19:00.000-08:00

A man in New Mexico's house was completely destroyed by a fire caused by a blazing mouse. Apparently he had found the mouse in his house and had thrown it on a pile of burning leaves in his backyard. Instead of quietly remaining in the makeshift mousey funeral pyre, the mouse ran straight back into the house bringing the fire with it. No one, other than the mouse, was injured. I feel sorry for this guy and I don't want mice in my home either, but burning them to death...super creepy.

- A. Monkey

(For more on the story)

Principles be Damned

2006-01-27T07:30:00.000-08:00

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$333,707

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

-A.(shamed) Monkey

What? A Dem With a Backbone?

2006-01-26T14:40:00.000-08:00

John Kerry is leading a campaign to filibuster of Samuel Alito. It is going to be tough for him to garner enough senators but I for one am glad to see at least someone is trying. Seriously wasn’t the whole point of rolling over on all the atrocious lower court nominations about saving the fight for the SCOTUS swing seat. What will have been the point if they don’t at least try to stop Alito. He is exactly what we were afraid of: a right wing ideologue with a ridiculously expansive understanding of presidential powers.

“If you need proof, just look at the response of Ann Coulter. Ms. Coulter is as inflammatory and as conservative as anyone in the country. She makes her living through character assassination. She denounced the nomination of John Roberts. She attacked the nomination of Harriet Miers, calling her completely unqualified and lamenting that President Bush had ‘thrown away a Supreme Court seat.’ Yet she celebrated the nomination of Samuel Alito, stating that Bush gave Democrats ‘a right-hook’ with this ‘stunningly qualified’ nominee. This from a woman who said that Republicans need to nominate a person who ‘wake[s] up every morning. . . chortling about how much his latest opinion will tick off the left.’”

My only question/complaint is: why wasn’t Kerry this cool during the ’04 campaign?

-A. Monkey

(For more check out Bob Fertik's post)

But They All Look The Same To Me

2006-01-26T11:25:00.000-08:00

Chalk up another homerun to the Bush Administration: In its zeal to have the global public assist in the hunt for terrorists, the US Government has had a picture of the wrong man on a wanted poster for over a year and a half. A poster advertising a five million dollar bounty on his head. The true target was Midhat Mursi al-Sayid 'Umar, also known as Abu Khabab al-Masri. He is apparently a dangerous high level Al Qaeda operative. The picture however was of Abu Hamza Al-Masri, a London Imam. Whoops.

NBC noticed the error and brought it to the attention of the CIA. The CIA has admitted the error and has replaced the picture with a silhouette but has also insisted that all the other information is completely accurate. Well that’s reassuring and I’m sure Abu Hamza Al-Masri just sees the humor in the whole thing. Really just send him a fruit basket or something and it’ll all blow over.

“It's embarrassing,” acknowledged terrorism expert Roger Cressy. “It's a bit of a black eye, but it's not going to have any long-term impact on the CIA or its ability to fight the war on terror.”

Really?? While I agree with the embarrassing/black eye characterization (though it is a total understatement), for some strange reason I just don’t feel that confident in the CIA’s abilities. While there is some reason to believe that Abu Khabab al-Masri may have been killed recently in Pakistan and luckily for Abu Hamza Al-Masri no one successfully came to collect on the bounty, so it could have been a lot worse and maybe this incident won’t seriously hurt the organization, the fact that this could even happen is, or at least should be, one hell of a red flag. Jesus Christ!

-A. Monkey

Rock On Georgetown Law Students!

2006-01-26T10:05:00.000-08:00

My problem with being a lawyer is not the lawyer jokes or societal disdain for my profession, but rather the idiotic attorneys who make the jokes too real to be funny and the disdain all too appropriate. I am not talking about the slip and fall, ambulance chasing personal injury attorneys or medical malpractice attorneys that clutter the news with get rich offers for people who have been in car accidents while taking Vioxx. It is attorneys who use their education and credentials to subvert justice instead of promote it, who contort the facts and the law into unrecognizable shapes in order to give more power to the powerful, that I can't deal with. In other words, Alberto Gonzales is a pathetic excuse for a lawyer. His legal career is mainly distinguished by his willingness to completely overstate/misstate legal precedents in order to justify the atrocities of Dubbya. Torture, domestic spying, clubbing baby seals... Sure it's all within Presidential Powers. Legal Basis... Well.. You'll just have to trust me after all we are at war, this is about the terrorists!

The rockstar law students at Georgetown apparently agree with me. Gonzales gave a speech there this week defending the warrantless domestic wiretapping, during which the students got up and turned their backs to him. Another group came in midway carrying a banner paraphrasing Ben Franklin which read "Those who would sacrifice liberty for security deserve neither." After Gonzales' short propaganda plug for the administration, a panel thoroughly trashed his "legal arguments" including one panel members comment:

When you're a law student, they tell you if say that if you can't argue the law, argue the facts. They also tell you if you can't argue the facts, argue the law. If you can't argue either, apparently, the solution is to go on a public relations offensive and make it a political issue... to say over and over again "it's lawful", and to think that the American people will somehow come to believe this if we say it often enough.

- A. Monkey

(For more check out Insomnia's post. Thanks to Eric for the tip)

Subversive Cross-stitching

2006-01-24T10:46:00.000-08:00

I like to cross-stitch. I know that makes me about 80 but I swear I don't like Precious Moments, or 90% of the other crap people turn into cross-stitch patterns. Finding good patterns can actually be really frustrating. I have been thinking about making my own but part of what I like about cross-stitching is that there is no creativity required, just patience and counting. I can do patience and counting. So I just finished a project for my niece/nephew-to-be's nursery and I was looking online for a new project and I found this website. Surly, funny and guaranteed to be Precious Moments free.

- A. Monkey

I'm Not Dead, Really

2006-01-24T10:35:00.000-08:00

Sorry for the ridiculously sporadic/nonexistent posting, but you know saving the world is a busy job ;) Actually, I’ve spent the last week on the couch moaning, driving my mother crazy with cell phone calls and generally dying, seriously folks I was D-Y-I-N-G! Feeling bad for me? Good! Laughing and not taking my plight seriously? Yeah, screw you too. Just wait until you get Ebola, see who’ll be laughing then… ok so I just had the stomach flu but it was gross and I did have recurring dreams involving a bright light. I am probably the world’s worst sick person. Which brings me to Reason Nine Million Seven Hundred Thousand and Two Why I Should Never Be a Doctor, I have no sense of medical relativism, either I am completely healthy or I’m dying - no grey area, no middle ground. This might explain why my medical directive includes pulling the plug if I get a splinter. Anyway, through some miracle of science that I’ll never even attempt to understand, I did not in fact die but have returned to save the world or at least update my blog.

- A. Monkey

Ahh...Politics

2005-12-15T11:43:00.000-08:00

On my ride into work this morning I was listening to an MPR story on how the voting was going in Iraq. One of the reporters mentioned that there were very few women seen voting in Fallujah and that this was in part because men were being allowed to vote for their wives, despite rules requiring in person voting. Makes you feel all warm and fuzzy about the democratic process doesn’t it?

Then if that weren’t depressing enough, they also ran a story about Minnesota State Representative Jim Knoblach, a republican from St. Cloud. Knoblach is running for Mark Kennedy’s US Rep seat in 2006. Knoblach is also an extremely anti-immigrant knee-jerk conservative who is planning to introduce legislation stripping Minnesota cities of their immigration ordinances. These ordinances forbid cops from asking people about their immigration status unless it is directly related to a legitimate state need. The policy behind this is that state officials should not be stand-ins for federal immigration authorities. Federalist principles aside - if the police collect immigration information that has a chilling affect on immigrant victims reporting crime. This is a huge issue. Many of the officers in Minneapolis and St. Paul have been working hard to try to make inroads into the immigrant communities here so that people will turn to them when there is a problem. Knoblach however thinks since we’re at war police should be stopping immigrants (or people who look like immigrants) on the street and interrogating them about their status, after all they could be terrorists. Call me crazy but I strongly doubt there is an active cell of Al Qaeda in St. Cloud.

On a more positive note the US House voted 308 to 122 to include John McCain’s anti-Torture amendment into the defense appropriations bill. (No thanks to Rep. Jim Marshall (D-Ga.) of Macon – the only Democrat to vote against it). This compliments the 90-9 vote it received in the Senate. These are not binding votes but should guide the reconciliation of the House and Senate versions of the larger appropriation bill. The White House after previously promising to veto any bill with this language (you know the language already in the Constitution as well as the Convention Against Torture and the Universal Declaration on Human Rights) has now succumbed to political pressure and agreed to the anti-torture policy. Thanks Shrub, way to begrudgingly back something that was already completely well established binding law.

-A. Monkey

Stanley "Tookie" Williams

2005-12-13T08:14:00.000-08:00

Stanley "Tookie" Williams was executed today by lethal injection in California after the courts rejected his last appeal and the Terminator denied his request for clemency. Williams, a cofounder of the Crips gang, was convicted of the 1979 brutal murders of Albert Owens, Tsai-Shai Yang, Yen-I Yang and Ye-Chen Lin. These were horrific and senseless crimes.

Williams had been on death row since 1981, or in other words damn near since I was born. 51 at the time of his execution, Williams has spent approximately half of his life on death row. In that time, while maintaining his innocence for the murders, he wrote a series of eight books for children on nonviolence and discouraging gang activity. Williams has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize ever year since 2000 and also was nominated once for the Nobel Prize for literature. He also received in 2005 the "President's Call to Service Award" with a letter from President Bush praising him for demonstrating "the outstanding character of America." When asked inspired him to begin writing books for children:

"I did it as an act of atonement, of redemption. I wanted to tell the story of what gang life is like without using the blood and gore, as some people do. My objective was to de-glamorize the gang lifestyle, to help thousands and thousands of children. I know that may seem naive."

In seeking clemency Williams' attorneys asked Schwarzenegger: "whether clemency remains of value in this state'' and "whether rehabilitation is just another word.'' No California death row inmate has been granted clemency since 1967 when Ronald Reagan spared the life of a brain damaged inmate. According to NPR:

Schwarzenegger denied Williams' request for clemency, suggesting that his supposed change of heart was not genuine because he had not shown any real remorse for the countless killings committed by the Crips.

"Is Williams' redemption complete and sincere, or is it just a hollow promise?" Schwarzenegger wrote. "Without an apology and atonement for these senseless and brutal killings, there can be no redemption."

I think the death penalty is never warranted. Period. But even for those who believe there are cases in which executions are appropriate it seems as though if there was ever an argument for rehabilitation this would be that case. It is not as though Williams was throwing gang signs last month and then looked at a calendar and said shit my execution date is coming up I better start renouncing my gang life.

I have no idea whether or not he is guilty of the murders. Our legal system is pretty good but there are absolutely innocent people sitting in prison and he may or may not have been one of them. I don't think it trivializes the seriousness of the offense he was convicted of to acknowledge that he has changed from the twenty-somthing violence gang-banger he was went he entered death row and that the change was overwhelmingly positive. It seems as though his years of work promoting nonviolence while sitting on death row is a hell of a lot better than a hollow promise or a sobbing confession and holy-roller conversion.

-A. Monkey

Stupid Quotes

2005-12-06T14:34:00.000-08:00

Sometimes when I am having a bad day or feeling defeated or incredibly stupid for some reason I like to read quotes by kickass activists and leaders that are inspiring. Sometimes though I prefer to laugh at the dumb things people say. Today is definitely one of those days. Here is a selection of stupid quotes a friend sent me the other day:

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected
as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would
not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like
that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign .

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor .

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May
God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

I know, I was a little surprised to see no Bush quotes too, but I figure either the list was compiled too long ago or Bush is just too damn easy.

-A. Monkey

Air Arabia

2005-11-29T23:31:00.000-08:00

Air Arabia is the UAE's discount airline based in Sharjah and all over the Sharjah airport there are billboards with these South Park characters on them. I am not a South Park expert but don't they make fun of the Middle East? I wonder if the advertising team for Air Arabia are fans or have even watched the show. It just seems so odd. I really wanted to take a picture of the signs but something about airports and cameras seem to invoke national security fears and that's a mess I'd prefer to stay out of, thank you.

-A. Monkey

My Family Rocks!

2005-11-29T12:45:00.000-08:00

Ok cheesy post coming, but...
Earlier today my eldest sister sent around one of those fill in, get to know you, type questionnaires and one of the questions was favorite flower (orchids and daffodils) and another was favorite color (purple and steely blue). Ten minutes ago I got a bouquet of purple orchids in a purple vase from my family in Michigan. They are beautiful! Don’t you just love it when people get you just the right thing!

-A. Monkey

Spice Souks

2005-11-21T21:03:00.000-08:00

The Souks in Dubai are an amazing experience in sensory overloading. Dubai is known for its shopping and along with plentiful modern stores and malls there are areas called souks which are old world markets. We went to the Deira Old Souk which is split up into sections, one for gold, one for fabrics, one for electronics, one for spices, etc. The gold area was a little too ostentatious and definitely too expensive for my do-gooder salary, though it was amazing to see a loose 3.5 karat diamond. The fabric area was beautiful with shops of silks and entire stalls devoted to black gauze, dresses and veils – some with intricate beadworking. My favorite, though, was the spices.

The spice markets were absolutely incredible. Stall after stall filled with exotic aromas and colors. Each shop had bags or boxes or some sort of display of spices outside to lure customers. If you pause to look, almost instantaneously you have a merchant pointing out goods to you - do you know what that is? That is frankincense. Here smell it? You have heard of it yes, where are you from? Ahh then you need to try this…smell this and this… and of course you must taste this date,… no really its ok its for you to try… and all the while he is grabbing handfuls from the various containers, crushing petals, snapping cinnamon sticks, breaking open dried limes and holding them up for us to breathe in the aromas. Inside the shops there are bins of ever spice imaginable. The shopkeeper will proudly explain each and every one and why it is much better and much fresher and much less expensive than anything you can get in the States. Saffron is the big thing and not just any saffron but Iranian saffron. After showing his wares, the merchant watches what our eyes linger on and then starts asking how many grams. For one gram, two grams I give you good price yes but for ten grams then very good price, how much how much do you want. The first price is always too high and then the negotiation begins. This is not my strong suit, I give in to easily, buy my colleague is great. She knows just when to walk away and when to pause and how low to try to go. It is really fun to watch. And each shop is like that row after row in this winding maze of alleyways.

-A. Monkey

Leaving Tajikistan

2005-11-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

Last night was our last in Tajikistan before starting our marathon journey home. After a nice dinner at the favorite ex-pat restaurant we met some new friends from our hike on Sunday at a bar for beers. Beers led to a silly impromptu photo shoot at the first bar before heading to the local discoteque. Although popular with the international crowd on Friday nights we didn't expect anyone to be there on a Tuesday. I think we were the only nonlocals there. There was an interesting blend of music and dance styles at the club. Tajik dancing is kind of a slow quick quick slow quick quick foot pattern with a complicated set of hand gestures. One of our friends who has been living there for almost a year is great at it. Besides dancing, vodka shots are the thing to do at the club. Being a sensible monkey, around 2:30am I decided that if my car was coming to take me to the airport at 6am it was probably about time to call it a night.

Our car was early and we said goodbye to Dushanbe driving through the empty streets in the just barely predawn morning. At the airport our fabulous driver and interpreter left us to fend for ourselves with Tajik Air. I had a remarkably smooth check in process. All my baggage was just under 20 kilo so no penalties and I figured out something to write on the all Russian customs declaration form that was at least close enough to what they were looking for to let me in. The passport control officer stared at my passport for what felt like several minutes, carefully going through each page before pausing as if about to say something to me changing him mind and stamping me through. Sitting in the waiting lounge I began to watch for my colleague. Her trip through was not as smooth. First after being sent to pay for excess baggage she got upstairs to the fee counter to learn that the amount she had been told downstairs had somehow doubled. After finding me for more money, she paid up and retrieved her boarding pass and filled out the customs form. The passport control officer, however, did not stamp her through but rather started questioning her in Russian about the militia. As I mentioned in an earlier post our knowledge of Russian is pathetic and two weeks in Tajikistan didn't do much to improve it. Finally it was clear that he was looking for proof that she had registered with the militia when she entered the country. This registration is a requirement that we vaguely knew about and failed to comply with. She indicated that she hadn't done it and asked what to do and he just sort of waved her away as though to say that's your problem. He also refused to return her passport. She tried unsuccessfully to bribe him. At this time she starts frantically asking if anyone speaks English so she can figure out a way to talk to this guy or someone about how to fix it. We were separated by a pane of glass and she mouths to me militia and passport and then takes off toward the door out of the airport. At first I thought she was going to get the militia because someone had stolen her passport but I remembered someone mentioning at the disco the night before that we might have trouble because we failed to register but a bribe would fix it. This made the close inspection my passport received make more sense, although why I was allowed to pass and she was not is completely beyond me. She was gone a long time, the flight time was getting close and I began to freak out. There is only one flight out a week to Dubai and our visas expired that day and I was already stamped out of the country and I was nervous of drawing attention to myself as I also hadn't registered and should I get on the plane without her and what was in the hell was I going to tell my boss, "well the bad news is that she is stuck in Tajikistan but the good news is that she has time for more interviews" yeah not seeing it going over too well. I was about to ask the guy seated near me if I could borrow his cell to call our hosts to come and try to save us when she was finally allowed through. Apparently she was able to find someone who spoke English and they helped translate for her. She made an attempt to bribe the guard but for some unusual reason he also stopped her, then said something to the passport officer who stamped her passport and handed it over. She walked through the final security check and officially left Tajikistan. I never thought I would be that happy to get onto a Tajik Air plane.

Goulya's Outdoor Adventures

2005-11-13T04:10:00.000-08:00

Unable to schedule any interviews today, it being Sunday and all, we decided to take the opportunity to explore. Through the guest house in Dushanbe a local woman, Goulya, sponsors a hike for internationals on Sundays. As if getting out of Dushanbe wasn't temptation enough we were sold after reading the description of last week's hike:

"Some people decided to have a camp at the middle of the way, but almost whole group reached a waterfall, which, luckily for us, wasn't completely empty. Few water, leaking by the rock from about 30m height, amongst green moss surroundings, created interesting combination of waterfall and vertical stream. Nice Indian summer weather with clear sky; yellowish-reddish trees, some of them with eatable berries with no name in English; bare hills, partly covered by cow dung so frequently as it was dungy rain there (sorry for such a romantic detail)"

I for one am curious to see how she describes our hike but for now you will have to content yourself with my description. We followed the Varzob river about 20 miles or so out of Dushanbe and then hiked in the Kondara region. After the initial steep climb up to get away from the road we found ourselves in a bit of a valley surrounded by sloping mountains with long grasses and jutting rock outcrops. For whatever reason the line from A&E's Pride and Prejudice where Elizabeth and her aunt and uncle are in the going to Derbyshire "and surely these southern counties have nothing to compare to the wild and untamed beauty of the Peaks." It was pretty breathtaking. We spent a lot of the hike jumping from rock to rock crossing back and forth the mountain stream, which was slightly fuller than anticipated due to the past couple days of rain. The river had several small waterfalls and rapids. There were a couple of more challenging spots where we rigged a rope to help people along narrow ridges. After two hours or so, we broke for a lunch of Tajik bread and American peanut butter, tea and cookies. One of the people we were with is a French photographer who laughed at the peanut butter but had some anyway. Then we forged on to the main waterfall, where we took a million pictures before heading back. Pictures to follow - I promise.

-A. Monkey

Out of Dushanbe

2005-11-12T02:44:00.000-08:00

Yesterday we got up early to make the two hour drive to the southern region of Tajikistan. This was my first real venture out of Dushanbe and I was anxious to see what the differences were. Somewhere around 70% of Tajikistan is mountains so to go from one area to another you have to pass through them on winding narrow roads. Our driver takes a certain amount of sick pleasure in seeing how fast he can go in order to freak out the Americans. As I may have mentioned before, there are no real rules regulating driving here. Although some streets have lanes painted on them I think this is purely decorative as they are routinely ignored. People simply drive where they want and then use their horns to alert the other drivers, or pedestrians, or livestock of their presence. The drive to the south is fascinating, despite the rain, there were people herding livestock and girls with sacks of cotton riding donkeys along the side of the road.

When we were preparing to come to Tajikistan we were warned that the electricity is scarce and often goes off for hours at a time. (The official reason for this is that the demand for electricity had exceeded the supply ever since the Tajiks were cut off from the Soviet grid and so now they buy from Uzbekistan and the power gets shut off when the bill gets too high. The unofficial reason is that the Tajik government is apparently selling its power to Afghanistan where they are willing to pay much more for it) We brought head lamps with us but so far have had little use for them. The power is pretty consistent in the capital. In the south, most of the places we went had no power though so we worked in coats and wraps and for our last interviews by candle light.

Because of the mountains, and poverty, and probably many other reasons the different regions seem isolated from both the larger world and from one another. Levels of education are drastically lower in "the regions" and many/most of the women are illiterate. In Dushanbe most people speak Russian, and then maybe Tajik, and there is a pretty even mix of people who dress in "Russian style clothing" which is basically western dress and people who dress in traditional tajik clothing. Traditional clothing for women is a long dress shaped like a nightgown of either velvet with embroidered or sequin flowers, or a cotton with geometric patterns in primary colors over ezors, which are like leggings or fitted pants usually of the same cotton material, and a head scarf. For men it is trousers and a sports coat or a robe and a squared black cap with white embroidery. In the south almost everyone we met was dressed traditionally and very few spoke Russian at all.

We are headed back there on Monday and will be going to several villages of differing sizes - it will be interesting to see the variations between the areas. I am definitely going to bring my headlamp and warmer clothing though.

-A. Monkey

Warm Bread

2005-11-09T06:01:00.000-08:00

Since being here we have heard of community ovens and I think today we stumbled upon one. Leaving one of the apartments we saw a couple older women and five or six children standing around a large cement mound. The children were playing and the women were pulling several large flat circular loaves of bread out of the mound wearing oven mitts. The bread in Tajikistan is really good, usually flat and spongy. A man came a to take a loaf away with him. My flatmate asked (mimed) if she could take a picture. We have been wanting to take pictures of some of the people here. The older of the women, said in an emphatic tone "Niet, Niet, Niet" (no, no, no) so we kept walking but then she called out "Da, da, da" (yes, yes, yes) we confirmed and then took some pictures of their work as they half posed for us. Then they gestured to see the pictures. I showed them, pointing the images of the children out to themselves. It was unclear if they had seen a digital camera before, the children seemed really excited and amazed. I took another picture to show them more of themselves. We thanked them over and over. Then they offered us some bread. They broke of chunks of the hot bread of each of us and pressed them into our hands. As we thanked them and walked away we munched on the bread. It was fantastic, - and it didn't even need butter;)

-A. Monkey

Cottage Nostalgia

2005-11-08T07:41:00.000-08:00

I took a shower the other morning and was flooded with silly memories of my family cottage on Lake Erie. Long Beach, Ontario and Tajikistan are a world away but I think I have found an odd common element. The cottage doesn't have a shower, or hot water for that matter, so when we were younger we would go about a week playing on the beach and swimming between hair washings. By the time we washed, our scalps would be gritty with sand and a small beach would be formed from the sand in the sink. Why you may ask was I thinking about this? Well not because I was rolling around in the sandy dirt - really I'm not! I am trying to be a good monkey! The shower water here is of variable quality and the last couple of days it was had a fair amount of sand and silt in it. Enough that by then end of showering we have that gritty head feeling and a rather large sand dune in the bathtub. My flatmate and I have a running debate about whether the water is making us cleaner or dirtier. I think it is a pretty much a draw. I wonder if I took a bath if there'd be enough sand for a sand castle ;)

-A. Monkey

Butter in Russian

2005-11-07T07:15:00.000-08:00

I don't speak Russian. I can say yes, no, thank you, your welcome and good bye and that's it. This is really about all I can speak in any language and usually, grudgingly or not, people speak English and I can get by. Here in Tajikistan this is not the case. Most people speak either Tajik or Russian, but people really don't speak English with the frequency you find it in western Europe or even in other former soviet block countries. For our work here we are using translators and are fine but negotiating the day to day aspects have proven a tad challenging and occasionally really amusing.

Last night we went to a restaurant that is more of a local restaurant than an ex-pat restaurant. At some point I will post about the ex-pats, but anyway we were kind of proud to find our way to this place and get a table and order. When our bread came, one of my fellow travelers wanted butter. For what ever reason people do not seem to use butter with bread here. We asked the waiter but he didn't speak enough English to understand. Then one person said that they thought people here called it cow butter, that it had been on a menu as cow butter and if you said cow butter you would be understood. So she tried that but it didn't work either. Then she motioned to a piece of bread and mimed spreading butter on it. The waiter looked utterly perplexed. Finally I tried miming milking udders, apparently this combined with the mimed buttering of bread was enough to get across what we were looking for. The man nodded and went into the kitchen. He came back five minutes later to tell us that they had no butter. I think we are going to start bringing it with us.

-A. Monkey

Tajik Air

2005-11-06T08:21:00.000-08:00

Tajikistan is not a tourist destination. Period. There are several reasons for this but in part this is because to fly in or out of Tajikistan you basically are required to fly (read survive) Tajik Airline. Tajik Air is enough to keep basically anyone but either the most adventurous soul or the most committed activist from going there. Luckily for you reader, Activist Monkey here is both ;).

Starting from the Sharjah airport we knew it would be bad. We went to the Tajik counter where they demanded to weigh all our baggage, including carry-ons. There is a 20 kilo combined limit. We quickly shuffled around to hide heavy things in our handbags and then hide our handbags from the attendant but even with that we were all over the weight limit. We went to pay our fine across the terminal where we would then pick up our tickets. After a some ceremony we got our tickets and went to the central Asia wing of the airport.

Waiting for the plane, the monitors kept dropping our flight off the display. I asked someone about it - he took me to the transfer desk where the desk attendant told me to ignore the monitors completely because they are always wrong. He said just to wait - that they will yell out the flight when it is time.

There are assigned seats on Tajik air but this is just a joke - no one pays attention to them, in fact the flight attendant was in my seat and she just gestured for me to find another chair. Most of the seats are broken, and apparently the 20 kilo limit does not apply to the Tajik people AT ALL. They were carrying on 5 and 6 bags each. I think one man may have had a windshield. The planes are old Russian planes with visible internal patches that leak condensation upon landing.

After striking a bargain with God and landing safety in Dushanbe we got our visas and entered the baggage area to wait for our luggage. We waited for three hours, a record we were later told, for our baggage. At first we learned that it was because of Ramadan - that it was just night fall and that the luggage handlers were breaking their fast, then we heard that they had left, then we heard that they had to deliver the commercial baggage and would be back to unload ours. One man told me that it was because of the war in Afghanistan - don't ask me how. A flight came in from Bishkek and its luggage took ten minutes. We started to worry. Finally just as we were giving up hope of ever seeing it again, our luggage was unloaded. We heard later that most likely there was something in a bag or something was said that made them search all the baggage and that was what took so long. Baggage securely in hand we left the airport, finally.

-A. Monkey

Impressions of Dubai

2005-11-06T04:02:00.000-08:00

My arrival in Dubai marked my first entrance into the Middle East. We arrived in Dubai on one of the last days of Ramadan. Dubai is billed as one of the most liberal cities in the Middle East. Scarves and veils are not required for women and due to its prominence as a shopping Mecca "western style" women are not supposedly that rare, though they are advised to dress modestly. Getting off the plane, most of the women I saw had head scarves but were not a full veil. As we were going through passport control, I saw a woman covered head to toe in a black crepe material that reminded me for some reason of the Abu Gharib photo of the prisoner in the black hood in the crucifixion pose. One of my travel companions who has traveled extensively in the area told me that this is the UAE's version of a burqa. A very gracious man was waiting for us at the airport to take us to our hotel. The hotel was beautiful - with several bars including a tikki bar the bars were all closed for the month of Ramadan. There was also a fitness center/spa with separate workout facilities for men and women. In our rooms there were letters that included suggested codes of conduct for men and women during Ramadan. After too short a night of soft beds, working air conditioning, BBC World, and plush bathrobes we left the next morning for the Sharjah airport.

- A. Monkey

Tuk-Tuk Hijacking

2005-11-05T03:53:00.000-08:00

On our last day in Bangkok, Boss and I decided to don our tourist caps and hit the streets to see the sites. We hired a car to take us to the Grand Palace and then return for us to bring us back to our hotel. The Grand Palace was amazing - it is a collection of Wats (temples), statutes, throne rooms, and palacial buildings all covered in beautiful tiles or mirror or colorful paint or gold leaf. One of the most famous things in the Grand Palace is the Temple of the Emerald Buddha. The Emerald Buddha is a jade statute of a Buddha about the size of a six month old baby that was found in the 1400's. It was covered in plaster - it was originally just thought to be like any other Buddha but the plaster on the nose began to chip and a sparkling green appeared from underneath. It was originally thought to be made of emerald and the name stuck. The Buddha is displayed in golden clothes that are changed three times a year for the different seasons. The temple that the Emerald Buddha is in, is a large room with high ceilings and muraled walls. There is an golden incredible throne for the Buddha and everyone comes into the Temple without their shoes and kneels down before it. Feet must be pointed away from the Buddha at all times. It was a really amazing spectacle.

After we walked around in the splendor and took enough photos to fulfill our tourist obligations, we had some time left before our driver returned for us so we decided to walk down the street the the Wat Pho, which is another famous temple. On our way out of the Grand Palace a man stopped us and asked where we were going. We said that we were fine and didn't need anything and began to walk again but he interrupted us and said that no you misunderstand me, I am not trying to sell you anything. I am a university professor and I am just interested in what you are seeing in my country. We talked to him for a few minutes and told him where we were from and how long we were in Bangkok. We told him that we were going to walk down to the Wat Pho and he told us that it would not open for a couple of hours but took my map and circled a couple of places his said were worth going to see. When we told him we only had a little time left he told us to go to the Golden Mountain. After showing it to us on the map he grabbed a tuk-tuk for us and ushered us into it. He told us it would be 20 baht (about 50 cents USD) to get there and back - this should have been our clue, Bangkok is pretty cheap to get around in but it is not that cheap - but we said ok and then just as we were getting in the tuk-tuk our new friend casually mentioned something about shopping. We said no, no, we didn't have time and with that we were off.

Riding in a tuk-tuk is an experience that every visitor to Thailand should have once and preferably only once. They are fast and open and basically death traps. The Thai government is intending to ban them soon, I was told. But for now they are all over Bangkok and we sat in the back of one sucking in diesel fumes, hoping our estates were in order, as we weaved through traffic to the Golden Mountain.

When we got there our driver told us that he would wait for us and then he would take us to see the city and then to shopping and then back to the Grand Palace. No, we said just here and then back to the Grand Palace. He told that we had hired a tour and that he would take us all over for two hours. We said no that's ok will pay you the full amount but just here and then back. At this point he pulled out a petrol card and we started to understand. The tourist shops have an agreement with the tuk-tuk drivers where if they get people into their stores, the shops will pay for the driver's petrol and that is why the fare was so low. A little nervous now because we had to catch a flight in a few hours we tried to explain to him again that this was not what we had agreed to but he seemed to get pretty upset. We decided to climb up the Golden Mountain and see it and then go back and see if we could work something out with him after he calmed down a little.

The Golden Mountain was pretty cool - it is a set of winding stairs wrapped around a circular building with little monuments and statutes along the way. At the top there is a temple and a spectacular view of Bangkok. Glad we had made the climb, we worked our way back down and found our driver. Again he showed us the petrol card and we said no, no, Grand Palace. He then motioned for us to go out through this side exit and that he would meet us out there with the tuk-tuk. We headed out there only to find that it was another temple area and not an exit to the road. We looked for a way out in case we had gotten the direction wrong but couldn't find one. We went back to where we had left our driver and he was still there, now eating lunch. We were supposed to meet our car at the Grand Palace in less than 5 minutes. We tried to just give him money and find another way back - again he complained and got upset - we left him with 40 baht and walked until we found another tuk-tuk who we hired for substantially more to get us back to the Palace and to our waiting car.

-A Monkey

Thai 101

2005-10-29T22:17:00.000-07:00

In response to requests, here are a few of the snipets of Thai language/life that I have learned in the last few days:

Sawadee kha = Hello (as said by a woman)

La gon = Goodbye

Di chan cher Activist Monkey = My name is Activist Monkey

Ga-ru-na = Please

Khop-khun = Thank you

Phood pha-sah thai mai dai = I don't speak thai

A Tuk-Tuk is a crazy taxi constructed on a motorcycle frame.

- A. Monkey

Am I Unwittingly Bush's Good Luck Charm?

2005-10-29T04:45:00.000-07:00

Ok sounds a little far fetched at 1st glance, I know, but look what happens when I leave

Harriet Miers withdraws her name from consideration from SCOTUS (ok I recognize that the jury is still out on whether or not this will end up being a good thing for the Dems or the country depending in large part on who is nominated next - but this was a slap in the face for Bush - so I am counting it)

The White Sox beat Houston to win the World Series.

Scooter Libby is indicted on 5 counts and resigns

BAD week for the Bush Administration

Do you think if I extend my trip Rove will be indicted, Cheney will resign, or better yet Bush will be impeached - perhaps starting a monkey travel fund is in order ;)

- A. Monkey

One Night in Bangkok

2005-10-26T20:55:00.000-07:00

After 24 hours of traveling, we arrived last night in Bangkok. A twenty minute ride in the back of a rickety bus hurtling past tuk-tuks and flat bed trucks piled high with baskets of goods later we made it to our hotel. The hotel clerk seemed somewhat overwhelmed by the onslaught of people. My head boss had arrived the day before so the reservations were set for my boss to join her in one room and for my coworker and I to share another. The clerk however informed us that Head Boss had cancelled her reservation and was not at the hotel. My boss was then given her own room and we all shuffled off somewhat bewildered. At 6 this morning the phone woke me from my groggy jet-lagged stupor - it was Head Boss, slightly panicked, wanting to know why Boss had not made it to their room last night and to make sure Boss was somewhere in Bangkok. Apparently Head Boss had changed rooms within the hotel and that had translated into the clerk thinking she had cancelled...

Anyway, our hotel is on the river so this morning finally all together we set out in a water taxi to the conference. I love boats! Bangkok is balmy and the breeze off the river was a welcomed addition. I look forward to having some free time in the up-coming days to explore the city and of course shop ;) The conference, though, is shaping up to be amazing. There are 1600 women's rights activists from all over the world here.

-A. Monkey

The Travel Clinic

2005-10-21T08:05:00.000-07:00

Yesterday in preparation for my up coming trip I had an appointment at the travel clinic to make sure my shots were up-to-date and that I had the right medications and the like. In many circumstances I am a brave monkey, but doctor visits are so not one of them. I had initially intended to skip the shots and just risk it but I finally ran out of evasive comments for my boss. Then, she told me that she had gone to the travel clinic. Travel Clinic? What’s that? A travel clinic sounds adventurous and slightly romantic and for some reason reminiscent of Hugh Grant in Notting Hill.

So I called and got an appointment, and yesterday went in. The office had a world map on one wall and wildlife pictures from an African safari on another wall – no anatomy posters, no exam table – it’s seemed ok. The woman started going through the information for each of the countries and asking questions about my travel plans. Talking about traveling, always a good time. Then she started talking about the risks and symptoms of malaria, dengue fever, bird flu, typhoid, and the various forms of traveler’s diarrhea – EEEWWW!

As a side note, I have to admit I am a little worried about bird flu – it is not just that I really don’t want to get sick – it’s more my slightly irrational fear of being the jerk who brings it the USA. Apparently as long as I stay off the farms and out of the live animal markets I am pretty safe. As an extra precaution we’ll be avoiding eating chicken and eggs, although the risk is supposed to be pretty low.

So after the pleasant conversation of fevers, chills, and parasites, the clinic woman excuses herself to prepare the syringes. After a few minutes she comes back with a tray full of sharp pointy needles. After determining that I am right handed she starts with two shots into my left delt. Now those weren’t too bad – naively I ask if one was the tetanus knowing that is supposed to be a painful one. But no, the tetanus goes in my right shoulder because apparently it makes perfect sense to put three really painful shots into my dominant arm. Yeah ok I know I am being a baby but I think she got a certain amount of sadistic joy in not only in jabbing me over and over but in making helpful comments like you think that one hurt well just wait for this one with this slightly frightening smile on her face. Then she adds insult to injury by telling me to go to the gym to really work in the shots. So yeah by this time not the biggest fan of the travel clinic. I think next time its back to the regular clinic where they don't hide the ugly truth that it is in fact a doctor visit behind a National Geographic facade.

-A. Monkey

Harriet Miers in the Not-So-Hot Seat

2005-10-20T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am rarely a “wave the flag while eating apple pie and playing baseball American”, but I do have a tendency to get that way about the Supreme Court. A Judge I used to work with had a white feather quill in an empty glass ink jar on his desk and when I asked him about it he said that it symbolizes that he argued a case before the Supreme Court. It is somewhat embarrassing how cool I think that is. I am fascinated by the way law, policy, and public discourse is shaped by the Court.

Why am I sharing this random tidbit of my inner-geekdom? Because the nominations and confirmation processes of Roberts and Miers make me want to pull my hair out. And its not that they are conservative ideologues or the blatant cronyism, it’s the wimps in the Senate.

As has been made much of in the news, the Senate Judiciary Committee is sending Harriet Miers’ questionnaire answers back to her to supplement. Members of the Committee apparently found her responses "inadequate," "insufficient" and "insulting." I am not at all surprised that her responses were inadequate what does surprise me somewhat is that the Judiciary Committee seems surprised or affronted by this.

HELLO did we not just go through the Roberts confirmation process??? Did the man ever actually give a straight answer to anything??? Did you confirm him anyway??? Talk about setting a precedent.

"If the questions are not answered or their answer is incomplete, as they have been, then it's going to be a long hearing indeed," Mr. Leahy said.

I am sure Miers is really scared right now. Ooohh a long confirmation process … followed by a basically guaranteed eventual confirmation to lifetime appointment – I can see why that’ll convince her to spill.

Now I could be wrong, this may be the first time a nominee has had his or her questionnaire sent back to them and this might be a sign that the Judiciary Committee actually intends to live up to their obligation to “advise and consent.” Maybe if she is not forthcoming about her history and her positions they will actually refuse to confirm her – wouldn’t that be refreshing.

- A. Monkey

Virgin Post

2005-10-19T15:02:00.000-07:00

Ok, I am officially venturing into the world of blogging. After almost a year of reading blogs and even occasionally commenting, I am taking the plunge...

I hope to develop this blog into a mixture of political commentary/rants, random things that amuse me and stories from my travels.

Right now I am gearing up for a crazy world adventure to Thailand, Dubai, and Tajikistan (or "that 'stan place"). I leave in less than a week and will be traveling for almost a month. I love traveling and I am a self-admitted stress junky, but the mad rush to get everything in my office in shape and to see friends and family before jetting off to places unknown is getting a tad wearing. I find I am staring at this picture a lot - it is from my trip to Tbilisi Georgia this summer - it's beautiful and strangely calming.

- A. Monkey