Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Stupid Quotes

Sometimes when I am having a bad day or feeling defeated or incredibly stupid for some reason I like to read quotes by kickass activists and leaders that are inspiring. Sometimes though I prefer to laugh at the dumb things people say. Today is definitely one of those days. Here is a selection of stupid quotes a friend sent me the other day:

(On September 17, 1994, Alabama's Heather Whitestone was selected
as Miss America 1995.)
Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: "I would not live forever, because we should not
live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we
would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would
not live forever,"
--Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest.

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over
the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like
that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very
important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for
federal anti-smoking campaign .

"That lowdown scoundrel deserves to be kicked to death
by a jackass, and I'm just the one to do it,"
--A congressional candidate in Texas.

"We don't necessarily discriminate. We simply exclude
certain types of people."
--Colonel Gerald Wellman, ROTC instructor .

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective
March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May
God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

I know, I was a little surprised to see no Bush quotes too, but I figure either the list was compiled too long ago or Bush is just too damn easy.

-A. Monkey

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